Dare to Dream

With the change in weather I decided to look for my gloves last night. As I was looking through my drawers, I came across some clothes I hadn't seen since last winter.

Last winter, when I was going through chemo. Clothing I distinctly wearing while getting chemo. A lump formed in my throat and I immediately closed the drawer. It wasn't until a little bit later when I was talking to my mom and actually started crying that I realized how impactful it was for me to see those clothes.

So, we went back to my room and found which ones brought the most memories for me and she took them away. I felt better as it's like I don't want any reminders of that time in my life. Unfortunately, I am reminded every day when I look in the mirror but for some reason seeing those sweaters just brought it all back.

What helped was knowing I am fine. I made it through. There are too many people who haven't-and won't-make it through this terrible disease. I would go through it all over again just so that I could survive.

I don't mean to talk so much about it. Really, I look forward to the day when cancer is not the most prominate thought in my mind. The month of October is very meaningful to me for many reasons and maybe someday it won't be as much but I doubt it. But for now, I'll accept where I am, be grateful for the tears because I know that each day I am stronger than the day before.